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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
tribblesandtribulations sailorbirdie
date-a-jew-suggestions

If you would report an undocumented immigrant to ICE you would have reported me to the Nazis and I don’t fucking trust you

prismatic-bell

A note:


I live in a state where you “have to” report anyone you suspect of being undocumented (that wonderful hellhole of Arizona). Now in practice this law has fallen far short, thank goodness. But if you live in such a place and they start enforcing it, here is how you get around it:


Assume everyone who doesn’t speak English is visiting.


Never ask about their job, because if they tell you they work here then you know they’re not visiting. You see them a lot for several weeks or months? Hm. Someone in the family must be ill. That’s terribly tough. They always dress in old, ratty laborers’ clothes? I feel you, my dude, I can’t afford new clothes either, and my dad has the fashion sense of an aardvark, so sometimes it’s not even about “affording” them. They say they’ve been here for years? You must have misunderstood. Spanish isn’t your first language, after all. First and last name? It never came up, or you don’t recall–you meet a lot of people.


And then, if you’re asked: no, you haven’t seen anyone residing illegally in the United States. Just people visiting.

date-a-jew-suggestions

Very good very important addition

Source: date-a-jew-suggestions
tribblesandtribulations thewitchofthenorse
washingtonpost

Originally posted by jupiter2

thestateonmtv

this is what radical political comedic satire looks like 

memeween

im Here for publicly funded jokes at his expense

mechakitten

Anyway, here’s how to donate to Sesame Street and support PBS with donations. Talking about how awesome a thing is can be great if you also take action to support it.

maphatingcharacteroftheday

PLEASE SUPPORT SESAME STREET 

Source: Washington Post
smallhotblack fuckyahumor

IF A CREEP WANTS YOUR NUMBER

kittensinsocks24

A series of fake numbers to leave behind.

1-888-447-5594 - Easter egg number for finishing God of War, contains a dramatic speech. Personal favorite.

605-475-6968 - Rejection hotline, politely explains that whoever gave you this number turned ya down, buddy

888-276-6760 - The 24-hour Klu Klux Klanline where you can get a FREE INFORMATION BOOKLET!!!!1!

866-740-4531 - Only responds with “I am Groot”

206-569-5829 - Seattle radio station “Loser Line”. If they leave a weird voicemail, it could get broadcast over the airwaves.

Stay safe, people.

leolion98

Don’t forget about 515-808-2362, the number that rings and then plays the John Cena thing.

waka-the-gods-gift-to-man

309-889-0497 plays the evangelation theme

jdeko

Evangelation

sirchubbybunny

There’s also 855-523-9386 which will respond to the caller with a robot beat boxing Korn’s “Freak on a Leash”.

tomysshadow

Who knew so many weird almost useless phone numbers existed?

jay-jinxed-me

This is wonderful

Source: kittensinsocks24